Chapter 104, (Rated R) Visitors

     “Tibi? This is Leah.”

 “Hey Lea, what’s new?” I was surprised to get a phone call from her, we weren’t that kind of friends.

 “We are going to have visitors from Germany for two weeks before Passover. And we need to host them amongst us. Will you be able to have a few people at your place?”

 “I think we can work something out.”

 “Great! There is one more thing, they are looking for a driver to drive them around. Since you are the only one that doesn’t have a full-time job, I wonder if you are willing to drive them around.”

 “I will be happy to drive them.”

  “Wonderful! I will let them know, they will pay for your hotel and food and might even give you some money too.”

 “Like I said, I am happy to do it.”

 “They will get here next week, and we will meet them at Mira’s house and set it all up.”

 

    There were only a few of the people I knew from our trip to Germany. The group had new people I have never seen before. One of them was a pretty girl named Lisa who was very happy to stay at my place. Hans was the leader of the group and he showed me the list of places he wanted to visit and the schedule.

 

    “I think we have a little problem here.” I said.

 “What do you mean? I planned it to the minute,” said Hans. 

 “This is cutting it very close,” on the way back from Eilat. We will never make it to Jerusalem on time. Everything will be closed by 3:00 pm, it is Passover’s Eve.

 “I can’t believe it, no one closes a country for a holiday.”

 “And anyway, you want to stop at the dead sea. That is a little off the way.”

 “Well, we will leave early and make it.”

 “I am not going to argue, I am just your driver.”

We left it there and agreed to meet at the cars rental place.

 

    “This is my bedroom, you may settle up here, I made room in the closet for you. I will sleep at the tea house part, after we close.” I offered Lisa.

 “You shouldn’t, I don’t mind staying with you in your bedroom.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Of course, I am sure; I didn’t come all the way to Israel and will miss an opportunity to taste an Israeli boy.” And, that exactly what she did. The next morning, at the cars rental place I informed Hans that he doesn’t have to spend money on the extra room; Lisa and I will share one. I think he was very pleased, after all hotel rooms in Israel aren’t cheap. 

 

    From there we drove to each of the hosts and picked up our guests and started our tour. For the first day we drove to Tel-Aviv and visited the old city of Jaffa. I parked at the northern side of the old city overlooking the Andromeda rocks, where according to the Greek mythology Princes Andromeda was chained on the rock by a monster. The hero Jason finally freed her from there. The old city of Jaffa (Yafo – in Hebrew wasn’t that old anymore) was slowly changing. The very old narrow streets were turning into small art galleries and small restaurants, serving Mediterranean food. The old harbor was still a fishermen port. This ancient city dates back almost 2,000 years BCE. It is mentioned in Egyptian history and at many places in the bible, the old and the new. We walked around town and ended the day at the famous flee market. That evening our dance company organized a party and a show for our guests at the community center where we practiced weekly. Lisa and I left early to explore our bodies in my huge bed and practice Kamasutra.

    Early next morning I drove the van to our meeting place, and we started our drive south. Our first stop was in Be’er-Sheva. Every Thursday the Bedouins would come from the desert and sell their goods; it could be anything from just some used tea pot to a hand-sewn dress embroidered with colorful thread. Lisa fell in love with a black velvet long dress with red, yellow, and green embroidery surrounding the neck.

 

    “$100.00,” said the paddler. Lisa was about to open her purse.

 “You mean Israeli Pounds (Liras)?” I asked the peddler in Arabic with a smile. “Even that is too much. 10 Lira.” 

 “What are you doing to me? I am trying to make a living here.”

 “Yes, I know, but there is a difference between making a living or making a fortune.”

 “OK, OK, what do you think a good price is?

 “10 Lira”

 “90”

 “10”

 “Do me a favor, I have 4 wives to support. 80 Lira”

 “20?”

 “80 last offer.”

I turned to walk away, as Lisa was looking at me with a surprise and almost disappointed expression.

 “Hey! Don’t walk away! 60 Liras.

I asked Lisa for her wallet and turned toward the peddler. I pulled 50 Liras bill and showed it to him.

 “Sold, you just killed one of my kids.” He smiled and took the money.

 “You have four wives; you can make another one.

 

    I can’t describe Lisa’s expression when we walked away from him with her pretty Bedouin dress. But then, as we were walking toward the van another Bedouin approached us. I saw him before he was looking at us when we were buying the dress. He moved a little faster and tapped my shoulder.

 “How much will it be to take that big bottom blonde of your hands?” He asked seriously. I am willing to offer a nice size flock of sheep.

 “Not for sale I said.” 

 “Me give good life!” he said in English to Lisa who was caught by surprise. “I will throw in two camels and a racing horse,” he continued in Arabic to me.

 “Sorry,” I answered, “she is spoken for.” He left disappointed and Lisa gave me this questioning look.

 “Nothing,” I said, “he was just trying to buy you.” She punched my shoulder as I opened the door of the van for her.

 

    Ein Ovdat is an old Nabataean archeological park. It is located a little south of Sdeh Boker. A straight line south of Beer Sheva. We stopped there for a few moments to look at the dig. I wasn’t sure why it was so important to stop there instead of visiting the kibbutz Sdeh Boker, where the first Prime minister of Israel lived and died. But I wasn’t the trip planner. We continued to the top of Mitzpeh Ramon overlooking the largest canyon in Israel. It reminded me some old western movies. 

 

    By evening we arrived at my favorite dairy farm to fill up gas and to introduce the Germans to what I thought was the best chocolate drink in the world; Yotveta. I bought some dates too just in case I get hungry. By the time we arrived to Eilat it was time for dinner which Lisa and I cut short and went to the sower together to try out some more positions.

 

    We got up for a nice breakfast and drove north to Timna and check the King Solomon’s copper mines. We walked along the red canyon before driving back to Eilat for lunch and to visit the new underwater observatory and the red sea aquariums. I sent everyone early to bed because we had to get up very early if we wanted to reach the dead sea and Jerusalem on time. Do I need to mention the fun Lisa and I had before we finally fell asleep?

 

    I was up at 5:00 and ready in the van with Lisa to start driving north. Well, we had to wait for almost everyone to gather their things and eat breakfast. We didn’t leave until after 8:00AM, I kept quiet, and I just drove a little over the speeding limit to try and make up for the time lost. Again, it took too long for everyone to get back to the car, once we arrived at the dead sea. Everyone wanted to experience floating in the salty water. It was 2:30 by the time we left.

 

    “We could save some time if we drive this way,” said Hans and pointed an eastern entrance to Jerusalem.

 “It will not save us any time,” I said. “First, this is a very badly paved road, and it goes through the west bank. We don’t have a military escort. It will take just the same time as if we drove through the highways. And besides, as I told you by 3:00 everything will be closed for the holiday.”

 “We are not in danger; we are not Israelis, and I insist we take this route.”

 “I am just your driver.” I said and started the drive through the eastern entrance to Jerusalem. Of course, it took two and a half hours to get to city and by the time we arrived at the old city everything was closed. Hans was verry up set and didn’t say a word. WE had to stop at a pay phone to call the rest of the hosts to let them know we were running late. They weren’t happy, they all prepared the Passover Seder with their family and now had to wait. Lucky for us I remembered some back roads from my military driving duties and managed to get back to Netanya a little after 7:00 everyone went with their hosts, and I continued to my parents for the Seder.

 

    It was all new for Lisa, she never participated in any Jewish holiday before. My parents, Meme Milli, my brothers Avi and Claude were waiting for us, all dressed in white. Lisa and I took a quick shower and joined them around the table. A Tunisian seder is different from other Jewish traditions. It has different melodies for the blessings and songs and even a few different activities. We read a very old Haggadah that belonged to my grandfather. Both Avi and I tried to translate as much as possible to English for Lisa to understand what we were saying, we kept it fun and even funny. We taught her to say some of the blessings and by the time we got back home we were all tired and I fell asleep right away. Since we couldn’t return the car until the following day; the car rental was closed for the holiday, Lisa and I drove to the beach and spent the last day together having even more fun in my bedroom. We were both sad to say goodbye. The German group continued North, joining some other group they previously planned to meet. I said goodbye to all of them, returned the car, and walked back home.

 

*

 

    Hadar and I were sitting on a big branch of the giant mulberry tree. All I was thinking was how am I going to clean the stained T-shirt. I was glad mom wasn’t washing my cloths anymore.

 “Hey, you are coming along very well,” said Hadar as the juice of the berries was dripping on her right cheek.

 “Thanks!” I said and reached to wipe her cheek with my finger. “It is all thanks to Sarah Yohai, she has been spending many hours on me.”

 “I can’t believe she is teaching a boy, it’s her philosophy: she doesn’t want to be responsible for making Homosexuals.”

 “Well, I am not a boy.” I smiled. “Hey, how would you like joining our dance company? They are looking for new dancers all the time. Ask your friend Nurit too, she is also a wonderful dancer.”

 “I am not so sure about Nurit, you know she was a runner up beauty queen.” 

 “I know, sometimes I think she feels above us. Try anyway, tell her I asked.”

 “You got something for her?” she asked smiling and gave me a shove with her elbow almost dropping me off the tree.

 “No, not really, she is a good dancer, and as pretty as she is, something about her turns me off. Maybe the way she feels about us. I don’t know, ask her to come.”

 “I will, but I can’t promise anything. On a different subject, are you looking forward for your guest this summer?”

 “Guests.”

 “Really? Who?”

 “Well, there is Christine from France, she will come for the month of July. I stayed at her house for a long weekend. She is a flute player for the folk-dance company of Le Havre. A day after she leaves Charlotte the violinist from Copenhagen will be coming for the month of August. I stayed at her house for a month last winter. I will be taking them all over Israel. Not sure how I am going to afford doing it yet. With all the dancing and very little work I do for my dad.”

 “I know you; you will manage.”

 

    “Halo, Tibi?” the voice had a French accent. It woke me up early in the morning.

 “Yes,” I answered in French.

 “This is Cristine’s mother. It looks like she will not make it to Israel today. There was a big train accident and all the roads to Paris are blocked. She missed her flight and will be able to fly only tomorrow.”

 “Oh, I am sorry to hear. Thanks, you for letting me know. I will be there tomorrow to pick her up.”

 

    The next day I took the bus to, what I thought was the cleanest building in the country; the airport at Lod. I remember the first time I ever been there; it was when I was in fourth grade. It was our trip of the year. The airport terminal was one long building with large windows on the northern side of the building, overlooking the runway. One big and very hairy man was still cleaning around with his big mop. He had very thick lips and I remembered him from all those years ago still walking back and forth cleaning the airport. Even the public bathrooms were cleaner than any house I have seen, don’t tell my mom I said so, her house is the cleanest house; you could eat off the floor. 

 

    “You cut your hair,” I said when I saw Christine come out of the gate. “I almost didn’t recognize you. It looks almost curly.”

 “Yes, my hair is wavy, once I cut it, it became bouncy. It is so nice to see you.”

 “I hope you are OK taking the bus, I had to sell my car, it gave me too many problems.”

 “That’s OK, I lost my car too, I had a terrible accident. I ended up in a hospital.”

 “You didn’t tell me about that, I am sorry, Are you OK?

 “Well now I am, it was scarry and I am healed, but I will never drive as fast as I used to.”

 

    As soon as we found a seat on the bus, Christin grabbed my face and gave me a long French kiss. It caught me by surprise; unlike Charlotte whom I had a sexual relationship, Christine was, as I thought just a platonic friend. I didn’t plan on having any kind of romantic relationship with her.

 

    “Are you sure about it?” I asked when I took a breath. She answered simply by grabbing my face and glued her mouth to mine again. I don’t think she realized where we were when we got to the teahouse. As soon as we entered my bedroom, even before she had a chance to unpack, she pushed me on my bed and had her way with me.

    First thing the next morning I made an Israeli breakfast. Two eggs omelets and a small, chopped salad. as simple as it sounds, it was something Christine never ate before. She finally got to look at the rest of our place and thanks god, she didn’t get scared of staying here for the whole month.

 

    We went to the beach; it was the first place she wanted to be at. In fact, that is what she wanted to do most. The weather at Normandy is not as hot as in Israel. She wanted to get as much sea time as possible. For me it was just as well; I didn’t have enough money to spend on travelling around the country.

 

    “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Christine when we went back to bed that night. As eager she was that first night, it seemed as if it was a chore for her, she would just lay there and not much participated in the act of love making. If I stopped, she would pull me back but that whole month felt as if she wasn’t fully engaged in the fun of it.

 

     She loved the visits with my parents, and even our trip south and when we stayed at my grandma Milli. We visited the famous Bedouin Market where she shopped for some gifts and was impressed by my bargaining skills. I took her to Jerusalem to see the old city and the western wall. We visited with my family and even with some of our dance company who were very happy to see Christine and exchanged notes from and for the rest of her company in Le Havre.

 

    I ran out of money; it was almost a month that I was traveling with Christine and didn’t have the chance to work at my father’s workshop. So, I am not sure if Christine was upset with me at the last day because I dropped her on the bus to the airport without joining her or the fact that I told her that another woman was coming to stay with me two days later also for a month.

 

*

 

    I must find a job, a real job. I opened the local weekly Netanya News magazine on the wanted section, the ad almost jumped out of the page. “Wanted! Electronic Technician” for a sound recording studio. That afternoon I had to go pick up Charlotte from the airport. I borrowed some money from Avi for the bus tickets and for a little traveling expense. But I wanted to secure a job before I leave. Looking at the ad one more time I discovered that the address was literally the next street down. I put my shorts and T-shirt on and walked to the address mentioned. 

 

    It took me a while to find it, there was no signs on the street for the studio. It was a residential neighborhood, and the studio was in a basement of a two floors house. A small sign on the door indicating it was “Ulpanei Kol” – Sound Studios.

 

    “Shalom!” I said, as I opened the door and walked in.

 “May I help you?”

 “I saw the ad in the Netanya News, you are looking for a technician.”

 “Already? The magazine wasn’t distributed yet.”

 “I have a contact with the publisher.” I said with a smile, “My brother works with the publisher.”

 “Good to know, my name is Avraham, have a sit.”

Avraham asked me a few questions about my credentials and experience, I had to show him my military papers and honorary discharge. He was impressed with my knowledge of the schematics he showed me and asked if I can build a mixer like the one on the schematics. This got me very excited and told him about my previous projects I built even before my military service. But I had to be honest with him and told him about the visitor I was expecting that month and that I will not be able to start full time until the end of the summer. 

 “OH, don’t worry,” Avraham said, I didn’t expect to find someone so quickly. My business picks up in September when the fashion shows season begins. So, for now, come whenever you can, and I will pay you by the hour.”

 “Just like that? You didn’t even check about me.” I said a little surprised.

 “I just remembered, you worked for Bernanka some years ago, and before that I think you installed the radio on my car when you worked at Tel Or. You did a good job. Shell we start next week?”

 “I will be happy, see you Sunday.”

 “Don’t come too early, we start at 10:00AM. Today you were lucky to find me here, I usually sleep late.”

 

    At the airport I was excited to see Charlotte, I picked up her luggage and we boarded the bus. The whole way she snuggled next to me, actually shaking with excitement. I told her about my new job and promised to take her to places she never been before on her last trip to Israel. She already knew the teahouse and even Roul seemed to be happy to see her.

 

    I made Mlawah and tahina and went for a walk downtown Netanya. Naturally the next morning we spent on the beach and poor Charlotte got burnt from the sun right away. I gave her some of my special cream that I used when I was a lifeguard and that seemed to help a little because a few days later she asked to go to the beach again. We got to go to some of the dance company’s performances and I even took Charlotte to her first Bar-mitzvah. It was Rabbi Eliezer’s youngest son. Eliezer asked me to arrange some entertainment for the occasion. I called Dad’s cousin who is a music teacher. We both performed some popular and Hassidic music. 

 “You know?” whispered the Rabbi in my ear. “I am not able to convert your girlfriend.” 

 “Don’t worry, this is not in the plan. There is a long life before us, we don’t have any plans. She will be going to Vienna to continue her education.”

 “What about you? Are you going to continue your education?” He asked seriously. 

 “Not yet, I am working on my dancing skills.”

 “I still want you to come to the USA and continue your education there.”

 “Not yet, when I am ready.”

    I took Charlotte to the north the next morning, where we visited the Kineret – the Sea of Galilei. We took a Bus there and slept in a tent on the beach. The next morning, we took another bus to the port of Acko and from there to Haifa’s Bahai Temple. We arrived home late and right to bed.

 “I have to work tomorrow morning,” I told Charlotte. “Do you have any plans? Or do you want me to walk with you to the beach?”

 “I want to visit Tel-Aviv,” she said, “there are a few museums I would like to see.”

 “Great idea! Museums aren’t my first chois to visit. So, if you go by yourself, I am grateful.”

 

    That afternoon, when I walked home, I saw Charlotte and Tali talking to each other and as soon as they saw me, they stopped abruptly, and Charlotte gave me an odd look. I guess I will never know what they were talking about. But for that same reason, I guess Charlotte was less enthusiastic being with me. The rest of the week until she boarded the plane back home, we spoke much less, and our love faded. I am sure, Tali was the problem. Whenever she walked into our house she meddled in our life. She even made Avi argue with me about the money I borrowed from him. The only reason I kept being nice to her was not to hurt my brother’s feelings.

 

***

 

Split Pea Fritters

 

  This is a favorite Burmese Dish. I have tried it and made it for friends from Burma. They loved it and it reminded them of home. It reminds me of Falafel. 

 

Ingredients:

1 Cup Dry Yellow Split Peas

1 Onion

3 Garlic Cloves

½ Bunch Cilantro

¼ tsp Crushed Dry Hot Pepper

1 tsp Paprika

½ tsp Turmeric

½ tsp Salt

2 TBSP Olive Oil

 

Soak split peas overnight. Crush the split peas with the onion, hot pepper, garlic and mix with turmeric, oil, paprika, and salt. Let sit for 2 hours. Make flat balls and deep fry.

 

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